Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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