i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
