I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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