I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize