He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
