wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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