so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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