around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
