you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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