I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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