Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
