My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
