I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
