oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize