I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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