I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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