Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize