how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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