He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
