i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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