So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
