there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize