we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
