Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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