My nipple is on Facebook.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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