the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize