People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
