never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize