you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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