It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
