Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
