He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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