What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
50% drunk capacity currently
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
