He disabled his match.com account in front of me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
