I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
