To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
