He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How external is "for external use only"?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm too high and old for this...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
