She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
