Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
