What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
