just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize