I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh god it's open bar.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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