it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
