my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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