so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
