FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
