He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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