Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
