let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
