It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize