im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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