i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize