You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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