that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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