Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
