She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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