like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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