So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
