i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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