Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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