I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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