i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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