doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize