Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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