so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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