i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had to cum in my sink.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
