Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
