I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
