did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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