Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
