Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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