Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
