Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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