You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
