why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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