Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
