You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
