you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
