obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
