I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
