i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I intend to get homeless drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
