No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
